Read it Like Neal Diamond's Singin' It- Commin' to (North) America, Today!

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Today will be one of the longest days of my life so far. 

I mean literally speaking, I will leave Hong Kong at 7:10pm on the 18^th and I will arrive at 3:30pm on the 18^th.  It will quite literally be one of the longest days I have lived.

But figuratively speaking, I’m not sure if I’ve ever been this excited to go to Canada.  Don’t get me wrong, I love America and will be super happy to come home in June, but for Christmas, Canada will have to do.  I wonder how many times Canada has heard that, “Well, I wanted America, but Canada is cool too.”  Sounds like a bad episode of The Bachelor.

Honestly, just the thought of North America gives me a warm feeling like you wouldn’t believe (Even though I know it will be cold beyond what I’ve felt for a long time.) There is so much I am looking forward to.

 Firstly, seeing my family.  This is the longest I have been away from them. Ever.  Even in college, mom and dad came to football games, I took trips home and my sister went to school with me for the first 2 years.  Four and a half months I have been away from them.  Skype has been great, but a hug is so much better. 

I’m also really excited to be out of China.  I want to be very clear here.  I do not hate it here.  I am not miserable.  My life does not suck.  There is no way around it though; China grates on me.  It’s loud, crowded, and sometime just plain gross. I really look forward to being able to go for a walk and not having to pull a Heisman move to avoid getting spit on. (Side note: While packing, I looked at my supply of travel toilet paper, smiled, and thought, “Not this time! Where I’m going, they supply the toilet paper for you!”)

Oh… the food.  I am so excited for food.  Organic!  Locally sourced!  Trustworthy seafood!  Vegetarian options!  Good coffee!  Bacon!  Cheese!  Mexican (Canadian Mexican has to be better than Chinese Mexican)!  I’m sure I will hit up The Red Lantern upon my return to Shekou, but while I am there I will pile drive as much Western food into my gullet as I possibly can.  (Note of irony:  Many of the best chefs from Hong Kong have moved to Vancouver and have started up amazing Cantonese restaurants.  Some Canadian friends refer to Vancouver as Hong-couver.  I have kindly requested of my family that we NOT eat any Asian food while we are there.  They graciously accepted my request.)

Shortly I’m off to the ferry terminal to head to Hong Kong to catch my direct flight to Vancouver.  So, I guess Andrea is headed to a more familiar Landrea.  

Timid Tip-Toeing Out of Survival Mode

Rewind to two months ago, the beginning of October.

I had been living in Shekou for two months.  I knew how to get to the bank, the grocery store and had learned how to order delivery from a variety of mediocre restaurants.  I was beginning to see seek out my place in the humanities team at school as well as the social scene of SIS.  I had learned the ins and outs of taking the ferry to Hong Kong and could find my way to a really good breakfast place and H&M.  I was able to take the metro to different shopping centers and make it back home without getting lost. I had purchased a scooter and could scoot here and there, as long as the cops weren't out.

Old pro, I was. 

Feeling quite confident in myself, I confided in Claire (social buddy extraordinaire, *snap*) that I felt like I was going to make it here.  Clearly by now, I would have known if I was going to hate the ‘Kou.  I was feeling pretty good about choosing to come to China. 

I expected, “That’s great! I’m so glad you are happy here!”  Followed by a slow motion high-five.

What I got was something like, “Yeah, you don’t know that yet.  Give it time.” 

Time?  I had been here two months!  What was she talking about?! Crazy Claire.

Okay, so on more than one occasion Claire has been right when I’ve doubted her.  “Pack your boots.”  Right. Thank you, Claire.  “Only buy New Zealand milk.” Right again, thanks Claire.  “You will have a breakdown, you’ll lose it.  And it’s okay.”  Right as always.

Soon after this discussion, I ran up against the perfect storm of reports being due, preparation for parent conferences, a wall of papers to grade, and the pain of missing friends and family. And I lost it. (Notice no blog posts in mid October). On one morning’s walk to work, I was scheming ways to get out of my contract and move back home.  I didn’t know how I would make another week here, let alone another year and a half.  I quite literally hid in the supply closet at work and cried, so my co-workers wouldn’t see the newbie falling apart. 

Thank God my co-workers not only allowed me to “lose it” they supported it.  They welcomed my breakdown with open arms, like they were waiting for an old friend.  “There you are!  We were waiting for your arrival!  And here you are, Old Friend.”  I know for a fact I wouldn’t be here today without those women who took in my breakdown, affirmed it, and supported me through it. 

Fast forward to today. 

I’m feeling pretty good.  And to be honest, that scares me a little. 

I think since my vacation in November, my life here as entered a new phase. It’s called living.

Everything that made me feel good in October were small victories that allowed me to simply survive here in China.  I could eat, sleep, work and not get lost. But now, I feel like I am slowly taking teeny tiny steps toward real life.   I’ve entertained houseguests. I’ve been to the fabric market to pick out fabric for some coats and dresses that I am having made for me. I’ve spent leisurely evenings drinking wine and chatting with friends.  I’ve cooked favorite recipes for pleasure, not just to have food to keep me alive.  I’ve left work before 5:00 and lazed on the couch all night.  My life is starting to resemble my life again.

Many trustworthy people have told me that it takes at least six months to adjust to living in a new place.  I’m coming up on 4.5 months here in Shekou.  So with careful optimism I am looking ahead to a month and a half from now, when I can take a deep breath and cautiously whisper to no one but myself,  “You’re in the clear.”

And wait anxiously for the other shoe to drop.