IMOL.com

Thirty something single white female living in southern China seeks IMOL, an International Man of Leisure. 

During our first meeting, someone joked about my principal’s husband being king of the IMOLs.  The group erupted in laughter and not wanting to seem like a rube, I joined in with an awkward giggle.  “I-mol?” I thought, “Is that a Chinese electronic store?”

I asked a co-worker that afternoon what her boyfriend did for a job in China, she said, “He’s and IMOL.”  I just had to ask… “What is that?”  “International Man of Leisure” she replied. He does nothing. 

Okay so the term “nothing” is a bit harsh.  Many IMOLs are entrepreneurs and have created side jobs.  Some tutor English, some teach Expats Chinese.  One particular IMOL, who is an Italian chef, creates a menu on Monday, we order food from him, and he delivers it on Thursday night.  Some IMOLs also enjoy the “leisure” portion of their name by lying at the pool, going gambling in Macau or hanging out at the bar.  Considering most of the cleaning, shopping and cooking is still done by an ayi (like a housekeeper), life is pretty good for IMOLs.

Feeling a bit silly after a long day, another single co-worker and I decided we are going to find ourselves IMOLs, if not for companionship, at least for cooking (my ayi doesn’t cook).  Instead of eHarmony, we will develop IMOL.com through which applicants can express their reasons that the life of an IMOL is for them. 

Can’t wait to read those essays.

The Games Are On

When observing something different or strange about my neighborhood, I often think, “Well, the Games are on. “

Currently Shenzhen is host to the Universiade Games (I tried to put a link here for you, but the internet is not working... again).  From what I can gather, it is like the Olympic Games for university athletes.  Shenzhen is definitely putting its best face forward.  So much so, that it is actually surprising.

The guards at my front gate have been much more attentive lately.  They are never found without the official armband. 

The other day, when I went to the China Merchant’s Bank ATM, the guard in the vestibule was wearing a metal helmet and a bulletproof vest.

Last weekend, during the opening games, there were guards of some type on literally every corner.

There are about half the number of cars on the roads as only cars with a certain sticker can drive on the roads.  The others can only drive on even or odd numbered days.

But the most startling difference is in the environment of our little corner of China.

Because of its location at the base of the Pearl River delta and its proximity to major factories, Shenzhen and Shekou are enveloped by a blanket of smog most of the time. Many veteran Shekouites have commented on the clearness of the skies.  Seeing the starts and moon at night, the sun clearly during the day and the New Territories of Hong Kong across the bay are rare visions to be relished, so I’m told.

“We’ll enjoy this for a few more weeks, then the games will end.”  What does this statement imply? 

“Then the factories will be up to full capacity again.” or “Then they will allow all the cars back on the roads.”

I vow to look out of windows as much as possible and take pictures of the skies.  If for no other reason than to remind me what is there when the smog returns.

Things Fall Apart

This week has not been the easiest to say the least.  This week I lost my ATM card, my air-conditioning broke, I developed a pretty serious chest and head cold and had my first days with students… All within 10 days of moving to China.  Usually just one of these misfortunes would cause me to freak out or wallow in self-pity.  There is just not time for that here.  I’ll be honest, I cried for about 3 minutes when I realized I’d have to wait about 7 days to regain access to money, but since my average crying session for something like that would have been a 10-15 minute jag, I’m pretty sure I’ve shown some growth here.  Yay me.

The ATM card situation is hopefully under control.  I spoke with “Brandon” from Bank of America to get things sorted.  However, by the speed of his intensely southern drawl, he did not see the importance of resolving this issue as quickly as I would have liked.  Brandon originally propsed a two week time line… as I only have about 200 RMB (not much) in my Bank of China account, this was not going to work for me.  I encouraged Brandon to find a faster way, even if it cost more.  Strangely, he found a way to get it to me within 7 days. Much better, well done Brandon. As it is Bank of America’s policy NOT to mail sensitive documents such as a bank card overseas, my card was FedExed to my parents’ house and it’s currently on it’s Trans-Pacific journey where it will hopefully end up in my patiently awaiting hands late Monday or Tuesday. 

The air-conditioning is also a great story. Basically the A/C unit in my living room was creating a lake of water on my floor when I ran it.  I called the agent (Kitty) who  had helped me find my apartment.  By paying her commission, she is responsible for communication between my landlord and me as my landlord doesn’t speak English. 

My landlord came over with her mother afterschool to take a look at the unit.  My landlord is adorable.  She came in with her overall shorts on, her heels, and a little tool kit with a kitty on the outside.  I was confident my air would be fixed quickly.  Right. After diagnosing the problem (a hose came unattached) she called a maintenance man.  (BTW- this is something I could have easily fixed with a screwdriver)  He arrived 20 minutes later, took out his screwdriver and got to re-attaching the hose.  My favorite part was when my landlord offered her screwdriver (the one with the kitty on it) to the maintenance man, as if hers was better suited to the task.  Another great part of this fiasco was the translation method.  In order for my landlord to tell me how to prevent this from happening again, she had to call Kitty, explain the extremely complex prevention method (don’t move it), and then hand the phone to me so Kitty could explain, ‘Don’t move it’.  Mission accomplished.  A/C fixed.  All together it took about 45 minutes.  Not so bad.

The cold is another situation.  I’m just glad I didn’t have this hacking cough while taking the Chinese medical exam.  If I had, you may not be hearing from me right now. 

Pleasure Through Pain or Pampering Shekou Style

One of the great benefits of living here is Shekou is the opportunity for inexpensive pampering.  Foot massage, manicures, pedicures, hair shampoos, facials and massages of all types are readily available and much less expensive than you’d expect.  Before yesterday I had never experienced nor even heard of foot massages or hair shampoos. One was complete pleasure; one was pleasure through pain.

Claire and I went to Tonan, a salon where you are presented a car-wash type list of different hair treatments you can get.  We decided on getting the shampoo that included a massage and L’Oreal hair products.  Other options included a ginger shampoo that stimulates hair growth, a milk treatment (?), a facial mask that promised whitening of the skin and ear candling. 

After being clothed in our salon robes (think hair cut capes) we were physically ushered to our shampoo tables.  I laid down on a massage type table on my back with my head on a little extension of the table that jutted out over the shampoo bowl.  Looking into the mirrored ceiling I could see Claire settling on to her table next to me while Adele played in the background.  Over the next hour or so my hair was shampooed and conditioned, my scalp, shoulders, neck, arms, and back were massaged and my ears were cleaned out with Q-Tips.  Yep.  They cleaned my ears.  Which to be honest was not horrible.  After the treatment was finished, I was ushered to a station where my hair was dried straight.  I have to say, my hair looked FABULOUS.  No matter how sweaty and tired the rest of me was that night, my hair looked freakin’ great.  Oh and that cost about 70 RMB, so about $12.

Today a group of us went to MeDo to experience a foot massage.  Yes, it involves getting your feet rubbed, but they sure didn’t stop there.  It began with soaking my feet in a large wooden bucket of hot water, milk and flower petals.  Whilst my feet steeped, they massaged my hands, arms, shoulders, and back.  But I don’t think massage is a clear term here.  More like my muscles were pushed, pulled, kneaded, punched and rubbed.  By hell or high water, my masseuse would get my stressed out muscles to submit and relax.  RELAX darn it! At one point, I was quite literally sweating.  So much so, a co-worker in the chair next to me asked very seriously if I was okay.  As my arm was being unwrapped from around the other side of my head, I was able to eek out, “yeah, I’m okay.”  My masseuse then handed me a tissue to wipe the sweat from my brow.   The actual foot massage was great. When I was able to speak again, the conversation was delightful.   Overall, a heck of an experience and excellent blog fodder.  Including a class of tea, about 80 RMB. 

Please know, if/when you come to visit me, I will not force you to try one or both of these experiences… but if you're open to it, it's a great story.

Officially Healthy- According to the Chinese Government

We laughed. We cried (mostly from laughter). We carried our own urine. 

In order to receive our permanent work visa, the Chinese government requires a complete health exam.  It is an experience I will never forget and I’m not sure I will be able to completely give it the descriptive justice it deserves, but I’ll sure try.

After filling out our paperwork in the VIP waiting room (yes, we were VIPs) we were ushered to a series of exam rooms.  Basically it was our job to work our way through the necessary exams and get a stamp to show that we completed each stamp.  It was a bit like collecting stamps for a free coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts, but at the end, instead of getting a coffee, you had to do something incredibly embarrassing.

Some of the exam highlights-

·      The sonogram- He squirted gel on my abdomen, roughly ran the wand over my ribs while I laughed awkwardly (I tickled!) until he threw a tissue on my belly.  Clean it up… move on.

·      Chest X-ray-  When asked if we should remove our metal jewelry, “No, is okay.” was the response.  I giggled when I saw my x-ray on the screen showing very clearly two half-circles where my underwire was and the horseshoe shape of my necklace.

·      The ECG- It involved Frankenstein like clamps on my wrists and ankles and suction cups on my chest. I think there was some type of astringent involved in cleaning my skin, but not the actual clamps and cups.  It was “almost” private in that room, so I pulled my shirt up just enough for the suction cups.  If she wanted more, she’d have to ask for it… in English.  Otherwise, I was going to claim dumb.

Last but not least…The urine sample. (If you are squeamish, stop here.  If you want a good laugh, keep reading)

            I had been warned about this, multiple times by Claire, my co-worker.  “Wear closed toed shoes, take toilet paper and hand sanitizer.  When you squat, face the wall not the door.”  Yes folks.  Squat. 

            We were all ushered as a group, with our little pee cups in hand, to the bathrooms in the basement of the building.  I’m sure they were the VIP bathrooms.  Upon arrival at the doors to the bathroom we noticed two carts with trays on top of each one.  Each tray carried many “samples”.  Just sitting there.  No caps.  No coverings. No “urine attendant”.  Just trays of other peoples’ pee (OPP! Ha!). 

The men in our group made swift work of it, but he women had to patiently and nervously wait for our moment in the one “toilet” that worked.  We each went in, squatted precariously over the pit toilet, collected our sample and prayed to God our feet didn’t slip in what I just kept telling myself was just water on the ground, not the much more likely culprit. 

Then came the walk of shame.  Exit the bathroom to see your awaiting co-workers, staring at you… holding your own pee.  I felt like a puppy that had just had an accident on the carpet.  Tail between my legs, I placed my sample among the others and walked straight out to the bus.

Needless to say, this harrowing experience brought our group closer in a way you just can’t explain.  However, I do NOT suggest it as a group building activity in anyway. 

Rocky? Again? Seriously?

I’m currently sitting in my hotel waiting for my first new teacher meetings.  Jet lag has given me ample time in the mornings to wake slowly, chat with friends online and watch some tv.  Rocky is on HBO. Again.  I think different versions of the Rocky franchise have been on for the last two days… but then again, my days are a little blurry.

Let’s bring you up to speed. 

I spent a day and a half looking for a place to live.  The first day, I toured apartments with a group of people, all looking for the same thing.  It was a bit unnerving knowing that if you found something that you liked, most likely the others in the group were just as interested.  A lot of poker faces being shown that morning. 

On the second day I took a second look at an apartment that I was interested in and an apartment (to be completely honest) I had completely forgot about.  I ended up signing a one-year lease for an apartment in Coastal Rose Phase 2.  Interesting fact I learned about Costal Rose last night is that the entire complex used to be underwater.  It is all on reclaimed land.  Hence the “Costal” part.

Apartment factoids-  10^th floor, great balcony with a porch swing. I do not have a sea view, which is okay because I can’t see myself having a lot of time to gaze serenely out a window.  The kitchen is awesome.  Purple tiles, a microwave, oven, coffee maker, toaster oven, dishwasher and refrigerator.  I also have both a washing machine and a dryer!  That is kind of big time for China.  The rest of the apartment is nicely furnished (by Chinese décor standards).  I have two bedrooms and a small office where the treadmill lives.  From the bedroom, there is a sliver of a sea view.  I have air-conditioning in every room and a heater in the living room… for those 11 days of chill I’ve been promised.   My building is located very near western style shops and a good Chinese store called A-Best.  It is more than I wanted to spend on an apartment, but I think it is worth it.  It’s a good place. 

That’s it for now on housing.  I’ll bring you up to speed on food, weird signs, and sightings soon.  Off to work!